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Another prospective on Borderline Personality Disorder
Another prospective of Borderline Personality Disorder Drake and Lynsi Eastburn are both Authors and Board-Certified Hypnotherapists. Their Practice is in Denver, Colorado. For more information about their Hypnotherapy Center, you can visit their web page at: http://www.hypnofertility.com/ Drake has been studying BPD for over 16 years and offered to give me some information about the disorder. The information below comes from emails that he and I sent back and forth. With his permission, I put this interview together. Drake: There is a Stop Walking on "Eggshells" workbook; it is designed to help people determine if they or someone in their life may be BPD. There is also a book by Marcia Linehan on "Dialectical Behavior Therapy". I have taken courses in these methods and they are based on a large clinic type setting where there are different therapists doing different parts of the work (some individual and some group). I do have a lot of experience working with borderlines as well. Drake: Even though there are certain criteria in the DSMIV for BPD there are some things that I see as consistent. Every person I have ever dealt with who had BPD also had abandonment issues. The abandonment issues are not always real apparent because the BP may have developed coping strategies to deal with them. Having children is one way a borderline can insure that they will not be alone; always being in a relationship is common as well and BPDs tend to be in a new relationship almost before the last one has ended, "Codependency R US" is typical BP behavior. Also I have never seen a BP that boundaries issue weren't a part of their history and that can cover a wide range, even with rather high function parents, boundary issues can evolve WhiteOak: Do you think that the abandonment issues and the Codependency issues support each other? If someone has abandonment issues wouldn't it make sense to handle that issue with the Codependency issue? Drake: Yes the abandonment issues and co-dependency do go hand in hand. Often when the abandonment issues are dealt with then the co-dependency is also dealt with, however keep in mind that we live in a very co-dependent world and even what we refer to as healthy relationships are often quite co-dependent. I used to think that if two BPD personalities got together they would probably not last, but that is not necessarily the case due to the very nature of the disorder. Their own codependency and fear of abandonment will often keep them together and there is this like minded kind of thinking even though it is distorted. WhiteOak: Can you share a little more with the boundary issues? Drake: Boundary issues can come from having boundaries that are too loose or too tight. An example of really tight boundaries is of the child who is locked up in the closet and given food and water occasionally, like a caged animal they will fear leaving their small surroundings. Of course that example is very extreme, but the tighter boundaries we have as a child the more difficult it will be to expand out into the world and thrive later in life. Loose boundaries are just kind of giving the kid anything they want and letting them do whatever they want, which is very damaging as well even though the parents may be well intentioned. Healthy boundaries are how a child learns how to define themselves and with out that they can end up BPD. Boundary issues can occur even with high functioning parents. Parents (normally) want their children to like them; however we can go too far with that. If every time a child is upset with us or wants something and we give in so that the child will not be angry with us and therefore will like us, we are not setting good boundaries. Boundaries are how a child learns to define themselves. Through boundaries we begin to experience where we end and the rest of the world begins. Example: Let's say little Johnny comes to mommy and say's "I want a cookie" and mommy say's "no, we are going to have dinner soon." Little Johnny replies with, "but I want a cookie now", to which mom say's "no, no I don't want you to ruin your appetite". Little Johnny continues to persist until mom gives in and let's him have the cookie. What Little Johnny learns is that as long as he keeps pushing those boundaries sooner or later he will get what he wants and in that there is no clear definition of where he is. This is the problem that BPs has (a clear definition of who they are, and where the rest of the world begins). We all have had some experience of the kid in High School who has always been given what he wants and on his sixteenth birthday he gets a shiny new sports car and that same night he runs it into a phone pole. Two days later there he is with yet another new sports car and the cycle begins all over. These types of kids may have well meaning parents, but they do not have good boundaries and will make dangerous choices in life (reckless driving, dangerous sexual activity and risky sports etc.). Another example would be: when people go into a store with shoes and things that were worn out and demand their money back. They would not have receipt or anything. Eventually these people would raise such a stink that the manager comes out and gives them their money back; even though they clearly did not deserve it, but just to shut them up and to avoid a conflict. The problem is that we keep rewarding people for their neurotic behavior instead of setting healthy boundaries that might actually help them to become more functioning. WhiteOak: Do you feel that Hypnotherapy is a method of healing that would be beneficial to those who have BP? I am asking because it seems that there would be so many different levels to go to when working with people who have different disorders. In your opinion what would be the one thing that would be the most beneficial in helping someone with BP when using Hypnotherapy? Drake: Yes I believe hypnotherapy can be a great way to deal with BPD, however there are probably very few hypnotherapists that are qualified to work with BPD, very few have a background in this kind of work and a lot of states may not even allow it.
Hypnotists are working with people who are BPD all of the time and aren't aware of it. BPs come in to the hypnotists office just like anyone else, to stop smoking or lose weight etc. and the therapist isn't even aware that they have BPD and probably the client isn't aware either. In my book "The Power of the Past" I don't mention BPD specifically, but the methods outlined in the book are some of the things that I would be doing with a BP. |
Eastburn Hypnofertitlity Center-Denver, Colorado
| BPD-Borderline Personality Disorder
May is BPD Awareness Month-Colors are Black and White
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I found this very interesting. I used to work at a center for severely disfunctional children and I see a lot of sense in what Drake Eastburn says. Great intel!
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Thank you so much. It is good to see you here too.
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This intel was contributed by WhiteOak
WhiteOak
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May, 2012
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